Wrestling With God

That is what I feel my life has been consumed with of late. From what I can see, there are two kinds of wrestling with God. The first is the kind of wrestling we do when we don't want to give in to the direction or plan that God has for our life. The second is the kind of wrestling that Jacob did in Genesis 32. The second is what I want to talk about tonight.
For those of you who don't know the story or need a refresher course, Jacob was preparing to meet his brother Esau (whom he had robbed of his rights as firstborn). He was afraid and had sent his servants ahead with offerings to try and soften him up. Night had come. Jacob sent his wives, maids and children on ahead of him. Jacob was alone. He wrestled with God all night. As dawn came near, God dislocated Jacob's thigh. He told Jacob to let him go, but he said that he would not let go until God blessed him. It was this night that Jacob was given the name Israel (meaning "he struggles with God") and became the father of the great nation into which Christ was born.
The outward wrestling was a sign of the inward struggle within Jacob. How I have wished of late for my wrestling to have some type of physical mode, instead of being trapped inside. Come on, haven't you ever wanted to punch a wall or throw something or even hit someone because you thought it would make you feel better. I have. Of course, Jacob limped away with a permanent physical reminder of his great wrestling match. But, he also walked away with his blessing. God found Jacob out, and in our wrestlings (whether physical or internal), he finds us out too!
This wrestling is a sort of divine discontent that is pulling us, drawing us to give up certain things, to change certains ways that we are and operate even though it may cost us everything, even our lives. God wrestles in us to accomplish His will and purpose.
What we must be sure of is that we are wrestling for the right purpose. Right now, I'm not certain if I'm wrestling for the right reasons. But, I do know this...God is working on me none the less because I'm recognizing so many things about myself that I'm not sure I would have been ready to face before. Part of this relates to my previous blog about friends who wound us. In being reminded of who I am, I have also realized the parts of me that I have lost that I should not have lost. So, now I am left to find them.
If you are wrestling tonight, I challenge you to ask yourself why. Are you wrestling with God because you are bucking against His will for your life? Or, are you wrestling because God is moving you to a new place in Him? And, perhaps in the midst of wrestling for the wrong reasons, you can change your course and wrestle for the right ones.
Matthew 5:8 says, "Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God". Jacob said that he had seen God, and his life was preserved. May we be pure in heart. May we see God. May we wrestle for all the right reasons. And in the end, may we be changed to be more like Him. After all, isn't that the goal?!