So Much to Say, So Little Time

Ok, so, well...there are quite a few things that I need/want to blog about, but I just haven't gotten around to doing it. This will be a random thoughts blog covering an array of items.

First, I'm glad I voted today. I waited until election day to vote because of my quandry over the candidates. I did not feel that either of the candidates were an adequate representation of any kind of change. I also was sick of all the political insanity that Christians were circulating. Kelvin Page at Westmore gave a great sermon on Sunday about Christians response after the election and the issue of authority. For some reason, this message inspired me and actually gave me a peace about voting. I have no expectations for how this election will wind up. Either way, I'm excited about the process and the way it has people dialoguing about our country and about the problems within the church. Isn't it funny how these two things keep coming up in conjunction with one another? I think it will be fun to watch it all play out, and I will be watching intently all night long.

Second, I have really been working on my thesis and my Apocalypse paper, as well as thinking about all the things we have talked about in Wholistic Mission. It is all rolling around in my head. I'm beginning to make some concrete formulations, which I hope to write about soon. I'm contemplating what the ENTIRE Bible has to say about the fatherless, orphan, widow, the poor and the immigrant. I'm also looking at what Revelation has to say about systems (economic, political, social constructs), and all of this in light of what the church is doing or hasn't done. I will throw you a bone though, I have said that Wesley had a system of radical discipleship, a call to social justice and life as an accountable and growing community. If we can't get following Wesley right, it might be a little much to think we can actually follow the mandates of Christ.

Third, I'm very excited to have been able to spend more time with my friend Angeline (and Mike too) at various points. I am thankful for their friendship and loving support during this time of transition in our lives. I would also like to say a big thank you to Emily Stone. Her efforts to include Belle and Ashton in activities have really helped my children to transition well.

Fourth, we have been enjoying various fall events. We painted pumpkins, we did pumpkin arts and crafts and enjoyed the night of tricks and treats. I will have pictures coming soon. We also have 2 pumpkins to carve, but considering that thanksgiving is upon us, we may just try to make a true from scratch pumpkin pie. Belle keeps asking to make one and the dried pumpkin seeds would make a great snack!

While this is not the exact maze, we also visited the corn maize in Anderson with Nana and Papi. As usual, it was a fun visit.

We have also been playing with chalk of late. I have some great photos of the kids that I hope to get up on the blog soon.

We have done so much work at my parent's new place. The transition has been amazing. I am so thankful that they are here.

Finally, I am really enjoying my internship. I'm actually starting to get attached to the people there. They have been extremely kind and gracious to me. I love the conversations we share and feeling like we are actually making a difference in the world. I could tell you stories of how things each one of them has said has impacted my life. Each of them have tremendous stories of God's grace and faithfulness in their life. I look forward to continuing to get to know them.

I guess that is all for now. I feel better that I've at written something here, even if it isn't as polished and perfected as I would like. I suppose blogging has now become important to me, and I don't want it to be as sporadic as in the past. I will do my best to get pictures up soon.

I look forward to the dialogue that future posts may bring. By the way, does anyone else feel hopeful about tonight's outcome no matter what it is? I just can't help thinking that no matter what happens, we are still His children, He still loves us and wants to see us all redeemed. Will the outcome of this election really change that? I think not. Que sera, sera.

Woman With an Issue

It seems that we all have issues. The worst kind are the ones you think you've cancelled, but they just keep showing up on your doorstep with a cover saying "renew now or this will be your final issue". The only problem is that it never seems to be the final issue. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
Well, there was a woman in the Bible with a different kind of issue. She bled constantly for years. In that time, there was no reprieve. In fact, she couldn't love her husband, sleep in her own bed, pack her kids lunches, hug them & send them off to school. No, she had to live outside the city walls in a box and cry "unclean, unclean". How depressing! The gospel of Mark (chapter 5) tells us that she spent all the money she had on doctors, but only became worse. She had no hope of becoming better. But, she had faith. She said if she could only touch Jesus garment, she would be well.
Jesus and his disciples were on their way to a rich rulers house when the woman came from behind and clutched his garment and kept on clutching it. Jesus knew that someone had touched him and asked who it was. When the woman replied, he told her that her faith had made her whole. The glory of Christ was revealed. And, while her healing was a great miracle, the greatest miracle was that her pain resulted in helping the multitudes recognized who Christ really was.
You've heard the story; now listen. We all have issues. Your issue may or may not be medical. It might be something that you feel like you have wrestled with for years. Have you have spent all your time, energy and maybe even money (going to counselors, maybe?!) trying to rid yourself of your issue? It might be that you need to just have the faith to reach out and touch the risen Christ. Or, have you ever stopped to think that maybe, just maybe what you are wrestling with is exactly what God intended in order to reveal Christ to others? Remember, legitimate healing comes not so much in believing or having faith that you will be healed, but in believing in the risen Christ, the healer, who died so that you might be whole.
You see, unlike us, God has the ability to see and know what is best for each of his children all at the same time. What may seem a painful and unending issue for you and me, may be the one thing that in the end will set someone else free. What may not seem "fair" to us is actually the father's loving hand hard at work.
God is not finite like we are. He has tomorrow's answers before you've even thought of tomorrow's questions.
So, chew on that for a while.

Wrestling With God

That is what I feel my life has been consumed with of late. From what I can see, there are two kinds of wrestling with God. The first is the kind of wrestling we do when we don't want to give in to the direction or plan that God has for our life. The second is the kind of wrestling that Jacob did in Genesis 32. The second is what I want to talk about tonight.
For those of you who don't know the story or need a refresher course, Jacob was preparing to meet his brother Esau (whom he had robbed of his rights as firstborn). He was afraid and had sent his servants ahead with offerings to try and soften him up. Night had come. Jacob sent his wives, maids and children on ahead of him. Jacob was alone. He wrestled with God all night. As dawn came near, God dislocated Jacob's thigh. He told Jacob to let him go, but he said that he would not let go until God blessed him. It was this night that Jacob was given the name Israel (meaning "he struggles with God") and became the father of the great nation into which Christ was born.
The outward wrestling was a sign of the inward struggle within Jacob. How I have wished of late for my wrestling to have some type of physical mode, instead of being trapped inside. Come on, haven't you ever wanted to punch a wall or throw something or even hit someone because you thought it would make you feel better. I have. Of course, Jacob limped away with a permanent physical reminder of his great wrestling match. But, he also walked away with his blessing. God found Jacob out, and in our wrestlings (whether physical or internal), he finds us out too!
This wrestling is a sort of divine discontent that is pulling us, drawing us to give up certain things, to change certains ways that we are and operate even though it may cost us everything, even our lives. God wrestles in us to accomplish His will and purpose.
What we must be sure of is that we are wrestling for the right purpose. Right now, I'm not certain if I'm wrestling for the right reasons. But, I do know this...God is working on me none the less because I'm recognizing so many things about myself that I'm not sure I would have been ready to face before. Part of this relates to my previous blog about friends who wound us. In being reminded of who I am, I have also realized the parts of me that I have lost that I should not have lost. So, now I am left to find them.
If you are wrestling tonight, I challenge you to ask yourself why. Are you wrestling with God because you are bucking against His will for your life? Or, are you wrestling because God is moving you to a new place in Him? And, perhaps in the midst of wrestling for the wrong reasons, you can change your course and wrestle for the right ones.
Matthew 5:8 says, "Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God". Jacob said that he had seen God, and his life was preserved. May we be pure in heart. May we see God. May we wrestle for all the right reasons. And in the end, may we be changed to be more like Him. After all, isn't that the goal?!

Some People Just Don't Get It

Or me either for that matter. Have you ever felt that way? Sometimes, I feel that way more often than not. But, I thank God for the people that do get "it" and me! If you are a Christian, you might have heard it termed "kindred spirit" or something to that effect. Regardless, these are people that somehow we are just able to connect with and share life with (and the harsh realities that often come with it!).
That is why the community of faith is so important. When we go through hard times (or even easy times), it can become easy or comfortable to isolate ourselves, tell half truths or only reveal part of ourselves because we don't want to disclose the reality of our lives. The older I get, the more I realize how difficult it is to make true friends. That is why I am so thankful for my old standbys. These are the friends who have gone throught "the fire" with me, if you know what I mean. And, I am doubly thankful for the people I have met in recent years who are becoming my friends. I am closer to some than others, but know that there is plenty of fire around to help strengthen the new ones.
Friendship is not a passing fad. True friendship is hard to come by. It takes work and vulnerability on both sides of the fence. True friendship can never occur if only one person is willing. So, work hard at the things that are important. For instance, MySpace has been a great place to reconnect with a lot of acquaintances. But, the truth is, I never needed MySpace to keep up with those people who were truly my friends. (I must admit that I love being able to see my friends day to day lives on a more regular basis, instead of just thumbing through photos when we are together or using my imagination in long phone conversations.)
The nice thing about true friends is that they see beyond the surface. They hear past words to hear what you are really saying. They read what you write, but know the intent of your heart. They sense even when we are silent. And, true friends hold you accountable. They share their sorrows and their joys.
I have had two precious conversations with two of my best friends recently. During one conversation, I cried. I didn't cry out of sadness, but because someone "got me". They knew what made me tick, made me angry, made me smile and were able to listen and know my heart. The second was quick. We simply shared in the joy of God's blessing in her life. You see, that's the thing. With true friends, you share the junk and joy. And, if you share the junk, you must share the joy!
Sometimes in the hustle of life, it becomes easy to lose who you are. I am convinced that most discontent in our lives does not come out of our life situation, but in that we have allowed our life situations to alter who we are at the core. We trade grace for judgement. We trade joy for anger. We trade the true love of Christ for bitterness. We lose who we are and that is where the frustration with life comes from. True friends remind us of who we are and challenge us not to bargain with who we are. Proverbs 27:6 says, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend." Sounds funny, right?. If you read verse 5, it tells us that an open rebuke is better than love concealed. So, it goes to say that sometimes it hurts when friends are honest, but in the end it is for the best.
In our society, we tend to expect/want the quick and easy. Nothing worth having is ever quick or easy or free. True friendship has a price. True friendship requires an infinite amount of work. And, when you grow up and move away, it can get expensive (long distance phone calls, packages, visits across country). True friendship is worth every dime, every sacrifice and more.
To my dear friends (and you know who you are), thank you. I know that you know how much I love you. Thank you for holding me accountable. Thank you for reminding me what is important in life. Thank you for reminding me who I am at my core. Thank you for reminding of dreams that sometimes seem long gone. Thank you for telling me not to eat that second roll. Thank you for "getting it" and me.
To my new and up-and-coming friends, thank you for taking a chance. I truly hope that one day we will have all that I have mentioned above. I hope one day we have stories to reminisce over. I hope we will have journey, chicken salad and dr. thunder to make us smile (if you even remotely understood that, you are well on your way to getting to know me!).
Some people just don't get it...Do you?